Monday, January 21, 2013

The 12 year old atheist, or, how I became.

First, I'd like to apologize to absolutely no one for not writing in here for a while. I DO enjoy the medium of Facebook to express my views on atheism much better. For one, it allows me to address the theistic demographic more easily. Or as my younger brother so eloquently put it "marginalize my friends and family with a liberal atheist rant.", which I found to be a quite magical summary of my preferred tactic. Bravo, Mark.

I was raised on the south side of Chicago in what is considered the "East Side" neighborhood. To pinpoint an ethnic makeup in the late 80's would be difficult as the neighborhood had integrated to include Irish, Italian, Polish to Mexican, and Puerto Rican alongside the families that had originally settled in the area. The area was rife with Catholic churches. My brother, sister and I were raised geographically-conveniently Catholic. I was baptized at St. Francis DeSales, and confirmed at Annunciata. Now, before I proceed I want to point out that as a personality trait (or perhaps, flaw) I have inattentive-typed attention deficit disorder. Which quite obviously makes sitting through the unbearably lengthy and ritualistic ceremonies Catholics so seemingly adore that much more excruciating. It was in those pews that I began to understand that the sitting, standing, kneeling all felt relatively absurd when examined by even a 9 year old's curiosity. When I would actually pay attention long enough to the more critical and darker tones of some of the sermons such as immorality it shook deeply within me that this was yet another figure of authority with absolutely no terms of negotiation. All, or nothing. Believe, or burn. I went to CCD there, and at some point for whatever ever expense related reason, ended up at Annunciata about a mile and a half away around 6th grade.

It was in this CCD class that something happened for the first time - a usually annoying, inane question that children spew with shameless frivolity was absolute truth to me. It went something like this.

Student - "Teacher, what happens to babies who die before they are baptized?"(Perfectly logical line of questioning)

Teacher - LITERAL ANSWER - "They go to a place like purgatory, or limbo."



I cannot remember my specific line of inquiry following what turned out to be nearly the most insane thing I have ever heard a religious person say. Needless to say, my already deeply-seeded annoyance and lack of respect for absolute authority had shattered into absolute nothingness. The concept that not only such a God would have such systems in place, but that they had been taught for so long, to so many...and those beside me as well stood united in that belief.

I had already been quite fascinated by the mythology of Greece as a young child (thanks CPS for your limited library budget!), and always wondered to myself why their gods were no longer worshiped. After drawing the parallel between the cruelty of all of the considered gods in question it was just simple logical deduction, even at my age, that no such god could exist. The god we seem to all speak of, and know of seems to sound a LOT like the male authority figures who have shaped civilizations and destroyed them alike. There is no god, only us and our gods we need to hope for more than what we already have.

I prefer to enjoy exactly the here and now, hard as that may be sometimes. I'll get more into how heaven and hell are impractical and impossible in my next post, as well as the notion that dead souls would have to exist outside space and time and therefore technically not "waiting" for us anywhere.

Your quote of the post?

""We cannot say we know with certainty what will happen" to unbaptized babies, Father McPartlan said, "but we have good grounds to hope that God in his mercy and love looks after these children and brings them to salvation.""

http://www.catholic.org/international/international_story.php?id=21542

5 comments:

  1. At its best it represents a poor policy. And at its worst, it's traumatic. As if a mother who has lost her newborn, or her baby is stillborn, isn't wracked with enough grief, her Catholicism dictates she also loses the consolation of being reunited with said infant in the supposed afterlife. Grief should also become guilt as she imagines the child she didn't get to know trapped in a place without comfort in love? The reality of death and nothingness and fragments of pregnant/birth memories seem easier to deal with. You've got to hand it to clever SDAs, they let you baptize anyone even after they're long gone.

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  2. Good post! I've been an atheist since the age twelve as well. My experience was more so a mental battle with my own conscious that ultimately led me to believe god did not exist. Religious concepts, such as heaven and hell, were unfathomable thoughts that would give me unbearable amounts of anxiety to the point where it became troublesome to breathe. This occurred four years prior to me becoming an atheist. To summarize what feels like a lengthy post (sorry, really high), put the following into perspective: Heaven is a place where every "godlike" person ends up. Where's everyone going to stay? How will they maintain order? WHAT WILL YOU DO FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIVES? Just fucking sit around in a cloud world all day and night? Rubbish.

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    1. Thanks for reading. That unbearable anxiety was part of my departure from it as well. It seemed awfully contradictory to the all-loving, source of love itself. I appreciate the feedback.

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  3. Well the term pergatory/limbo is a lie. Unborn babies that die go straight to heaven. They are pure and innocent. I went to a catholic school 1st-8th grade. I dont believe in the catholic way and rituals. For example, praying to mary. Why would you pray to her. She is not a god. Also confession. Telling Father "John"(example) your sins and he would forgive you by saying 10 hail marys and 10 our fathers?? (Come on you know you said some crazy shit at confession. Who didn't lol!) Well to me it confused the hell out of me. I am not an atheist i do believe that God and Lucifer are real.

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    1. "What can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence" - Christopher Hitchens

      You believe that Lucifer does what precisely? You DO realize, that the "master of evil", "sinner of sinners" etc etc who (by your assessment) is God's enemy...tortures souls for all eternity for any mortal sins they committed.

      So, why would someone who's existence came out of defying God (purely speaking mythical terms here) do God's bidding and punish the wicked when he is as, or more wicked than most human beings are according to the Bible?

      I was raised Catholic and I know the Bible very, very well. The concept that Lucifer is a real being in any sense or role is laughable to me. The concept of his existence is unexplainable, everyone says how the Devil is at work here or there but gives no credit to the character as being responsible for evil. Humans are evil. Child rapist priests, are evil.

      I lied in every confession I went to, in the sense that I never told them I didn't believe in God and I think it is SICK that a man in robes should be allowed to hear your guilt on a personal level. That's all Catholicism is, shaming and guilting their members into belief and subjugation.

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